Some days, talking takes too much effort. Perhaps it is the anxiety disorder, or the fact that I am also highly introverted. Whatever the case may be, as much as I do love and care about the people in my life, I do find myself wanting to shut everyone out and just explore my own mind for awhile. There is a calm there, there is no fear there, no stress there unless I let it be. I’ve found control in my mind, and an escape from whatever may be lurking around me.
There is no pontificating, shallow attempts at validation or arguments. It is only me for a little while, and perhaps some music to set the atmosphere on the right rhythm. I’m where I should be when I’m to myself.
The trees here stand so tall. They loom over everything–mostly pine, some other breeds–but they blend into beautiful hues of green, yellow and blue. The trees give me inspiration to explore and to create.
My nights have grown longer, and my days have grown shorter. I make excuses for why I’d rather stick to a routine. But when I do break off and decide to take a walk or ride my bike, I feel fulfilled. I’m somewhere else for awhile; I’m coasting.