Southern Living

(Sorry for the low-quality photos. I used my cell phone.)

A Gleason family outing to the mall was on the agenda today. The plan was to go to a mall that was nearly an hour away and then go to Steak n Shake for lunch. After leaving the house at 10 in the morning, I was quickly regretting my neglect to grab my iPod from out of my room. My father had control over the radio, meaning he hooked up an iPod to the stereo and began playing his heavy metal playlist. Typically, I would not have had such a problem with this, but I had had a craving for Death Cab for Cutie and humming “I Will Follow You into the Dark” was not satisfying my hunger for the unique Alternative sound. And the fact that we managed to pass every nose-picker imaginable–man, woman, and child–on the road did not make the excursion more enjoyable. But it turned to humor shortly after my father spotted a Bass Pro Shop located off the interstate. We should have known that even a holiday could not keep away the rednecks–sorry, sportsmen. Ol’ Clark Griswald was just so eager to get to Wally World that we had to make the turn. I have to admit, though, this place was pretty amazing.

My father and brother ran around the store looking at hunting equipment while Shanna and I roamed. From afar, the woman’s apparel looked pleasing to the eye, until one actually made their way to the section. All of the clothes proved even more that some southern women do not know how to dress. Everything was either more of what I would expect on my grandmother, or what I would hope to never find on anyone. But, it should be made note that their sundresses are actually cute, so if your father/brother/uncle/cousin/husband/friend drags you into the Bass Pro Shop against your will, you can bet to find something there that is worth it.

The other areas of the store were full of interesting odds and ends, junk food, Under Armour merchandise, and tools for the perfect barbecue. From shoes to boats, everything one sportsman or “normie” could ever imagine in one place was at the Bass Pro Shop and all within reach. Aside from the clueless salesclerk assigned to stand behind the watch counter, all the workers were lively, involved, and clearly happy to be there. My favorite area was in the middle where two large aquariums sat full of gar, large-mouth bass, and catfish.

And by keeping to the status quo, the Gleasons left the Bass Pro Shop with no merchandise, but managed to snag 2-for-1 Moon Pies by the cash register. (I got strawberry.)

Published by


Writer, editor, designer, random other content creator/artist of some kind. You know, at least that's how I view myself. Really I just fumble through existence with shoelaces that won't stay tied.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.